Weekly Thoughts Recap

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Thoughts 5/6:

“Have you ever wished somebody told you about this earlier?”

Because I wished. This thought of wish (since it couldn’t be named as a regret — yet) has been rushing through my mind lately.

Oh, how I wished somebody would tell me, this is what it feels like. For every moment in life, each person can define their own “this” and “it” to various and broad parts of life. Especially in this adulting stage, I have so many questions that keep popping into my head because all I do is ask questions, all I do is wonder, and all I do is get to know.

So this is what it feels like to be a “newbie” to the adulthood phase. Although I’m not alone, maybe you realised you are also a newbie. Or your friends too. Your cousins, too. Even our parents and our ancestors were once the newbies, too. And no one ever told you about this, how to get with it, how it should be, and how you are going to figure out what you’ve been wondering about… just so many things. Way too many things.

Earlier this week, I found this one line: “There’s no discovery in life”. It all makes sense because, unlike any other discovery, the discovery of life is subjective and depends on each person, for we all have our purposes that might differ. We have the standards of what we want to achieve or values we wish to preserve. If one’s life discovery becomes the benchmark to others, life will only be a mess.

[Ideas for Medium]

20:47

Thoughts 16/6

Oh, so many paths for you to take out there, to go anywhere you wish. They’re too many.

And how lucky they are to have known & decided which path they would like to follow. To discover every gem and treasure along the way that would cherish their soul and they know clearly would contribute to their growth.

But,

Are the ones who have not known and the late deciders not lucky?

They didn’t follow just one single clear path, but paths — the hazy one, the one that might be rocky, the one with the mountains and hills.

The gem and treasure that comes their way might not be what they expected, yet they would like to believe they would also participate in the person’s growth.

The twenties have so many possibilities. Plenty of times. Plenty of choices and opportunities to take.

And I,

I guess I’m still discovering which path I’ll go on that will enhance my growth most yet still bring peace to my soul.

[The thought that crossed my mind in the middle of exam prep]

13:41

Thoughts 17/6

“What are you going to do in your twenties?”

Me? I’m chasing down opportunities;

opportunities to grow,

opportunities to learn,

opportunities to explore things,

opportunities to go places.

“That’s good. You must be the one who knows who you want to become.”

I don’t know. And I’m not sure.

Sometimes, I feel like I did, but I didn’t.

Chasing opportunities is a good way to spend your twenties. But have you ever got caught up in your ambitions? Having too many goals, not knowing which one you should pursue first. Even if you have arranged it, sorted it, there’s still part of you that thinks, “I gotta get it now, or never”, as if there’s no tomorrow, as if you’ll die in vain if you’re not able to get them now.

And when you get caught up, all of your prior achievements suddenly look small, as if they don’t matter, as if they don’t contribute to shaping who you are today because you’re too focused on chasing tomorrow. They were once something you have worked on and prayed for a lot, just like all the ambitions in front of your eyes now.

So take it slow.

You’re not missing anything.

You’ll get there eventually.

One step at a time. 🤍

[On a Goride, on the way home from bar exam]

14:21